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Elsita :)

You have such a special way to describe this process of self-investigation. I love this line:
"While it is humbling to be aware of your uncertainty, it is also empowering"
I have observed something interesting this week. I like things to be organized and clean, maybe because it gives me a sense of order in my head. This week my house and studio started getting a little bit out of control. I noticed that as a result, my head started getting also a little disorganized. I started eating by impulse again etc.
Then I did an experiment: I spent special time organizing and cleaning with my Mom's help. After I saw everything in the right place again my mind calmed down and I felt centered again.
My intuition tells me that this is connected to the little girl in me. I grew up in total chaos. Everyday something chaotic was going on. The way I found to protect myself was by keeping my belongings nice and neat. That always gave me a sense of order that I could not have in the rest on my family life. As an adult I still do the same thing. I have to think about what my "crime" is here.
I would love to tolerate chaos better. It's not that I go crazy, my reaction is subtle but it hurts me anyway.

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  • Dr. Meyer has worked in private practice in West Los Angeles for over 25 years, and is an Associate Clinical Professor of Psychology at UCLA. She earned her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from UCLA and her B.A. from Oberlin College.

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