Special Challenges for Emotional Detectives

This is the fourth in a six-part series giving a brief overview of How to Become an Emotional Detective.

When exploring your inner world, most of what you are searching for has previously passed beneath the radar of your awareness. The so-called crimes you are investigating are ongoing: you, your life, your feelings and perspective are constantly changing. You probably trick yourself about how you feel from time to time. Furthermore, you likely believe things about yourself and your life that are not really true. These conditions make the job of an Emotional Detective challenging, but by no means impossible. Recognizing these obstacles helps you do the job more effectively.

 

 

 

While it is humbling to be aware of your uncertainty, it is also empowering. Awareness of uncertainty makes it easier to learn more. An open mind prepares you for surprises, helping you make new discoveries about yourself and others. All this helps you identify longstanding misconceptions about yourself that have gotten in your way, without your even knowing it.  

 

When investigating your inner life, you can only know what you know now; there will always be more  you don't yet know. This is true for us all. 

 

So how to proceed with your investigation of your inner world?

 

• Keep in mind that there is a lot about your emotional life that you don’t know 
• Collect data about yourself: monitor your dreams and intense or unusual emotional reactions
• Listen and consider what others say about you, but consider the source
• Stand behind your intuitions about yourself, but be willing to reconsider them

Remember that you could always be wrong about what you believe about yourself.

 

The other five posts in this series are: Becoming an Emotional Detective, The Right Attitude, Could David Brooks be an Emotional Detective?  Collecting Clues, What is a Private Eye?

Comments

[Elsita :)]

You have such a special way to describe this process of self-investigation. I love this line:
"While it is humbling to be aware of your uncertainty, it is also empowering"
I have observed something interesting this week. I like things to be organized and clean, maybe because it gives me a sense of order in my head. This week my house and studio started getting a little bit out of control. I noticed that as a result, my head started getting also a little disorganized. I started eating by impulse again etc.
Then I did an experiment: I spent special time organizing and cleaning with my Mom's help. After I saw everything in the right place again my mind calmed down and I felt centered again.
My intuition tells me that this is connected to the little girl in me. I grew up in total chaos. Everyday something chaotic was going on. The way I found to protect myself was by keeping my belongings nice and neat. That always gave me a sense of order that I could not have in the rest on my family life. As an adult I still do the same thing. I have to think about what my "crime" is here.
I would love to tolerate chaos better. It's not that I go crazy, my reaction is subtle but it hurts me anyway.