Habits are Mightier than You Think

The first in a series on Habits

“But the fact is that our virtues are habits as much as our vices. All our life, so far as it has definite form, is but a mass of habits,—practical, emotional, and intellectual, — systematically organized for our weal or woe, and bearing us irresistibly toward our destiny, whatever the latter may be.....” - William James

                                                                        

We navigate nearly half our days on autopilot, mindlessly executing well-entrenched habits like eating, sleeping, relaxing and emotionally reacting. It's mind-blowing how much these “under the radar” actions shape our lives. Without being guided by our regular routines, we would look, feel and act very differently. 

 

 

Understanding how habits work is BIG news for Emotional Detectives. Although habits commonly operate outside of our awareness, they don't need to. With a little effort, you can easily understand your habits from the bottom up.    

In his book The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg states that a habit is born when a sequence of actions gets stored as a chunk in the brain (in the basil ganglia). Each habit can be broken down into three stages:

1. Cue (sensory, mental, or physical trigger: like time, place, people, tone, circumstances) 
2. Routine (mindless sequence of mental, emotional and/or physical actions)
3. Reward (physical, emotional, or mental satisfactions like orgasm, joy, or insight)

 

 Examples:

A.  The red light on a smart phone (cue) prompts you to check your email (routine) which makes you feel connected and on top of things (reward).

B. You pass by your favorite bakery (cue). This prompts you to buy a cookie (routine), which gives you a sensual delight and brief energy boost (reward). 

Establishing good habits that accomplish meaningful goals really does give you an advantage in life.

 

 

Emotional Detectives already investigate below radar, so it is not a large stretch to start studying your habits.   When you discover things you want to change, set aside time to plan how to develop new habits. Make sure you allocate sufficient mental energy to that your routines work for you, not against you. 

How to develop or change habits realistically, to maximize happiness and wellness?

 

Looking Under the Radar

Study your existing habits carefully. Take note of good habits. Consider if you would like to expand upon your existing routines (making new recipes or describing your dreams to someone else).    

Make a list of what you'd like to add to your life and then consider what you would like to tackle first.  

• · What are cues for your good habits?
• · Which of your routines do you think are especially useful?
• · How what are the rewards?
• · How did your best habits develop?
• · Which new habits you would like to establish or add on?

When thinking about establishing a new habit, select a routine, and then establish a cue and reward.  For example, on Sundays (cue) I call home (routine) feeling pleased with myself (reward) before having a nice dinner (another reward). 

Play around with different rewards to see what outcome ensures the maintenance of the new routine (for example, is your self-satisfaction for calling home enough reward, or is a nice dinner needed as well?) 

To learn more about establishing new habits read David Brooks review of Charles Duhigg's book The Power of Habit.

 

Comments

[Dr. Meyer]

Hi Sandy -

Research does suggest that electronics before bed interfere with sleep. Maybe reading or a book on tape?

Sounds like you are looking for moderation when it comes to electronics. Establishing routines for yourself in terms of when you use them is a great idea. Spend a few months devoting mental energy to following a schedule of when you can use electronics, and make sure you build in cues for when you can use electronics (times of day, locations, etc.) the routine (using electronics) and reward (ensuing pleasure) will do the rest. If you currently have certain times of day or circumstances during which you usually use electronics and you want to change these habits, then you need to:

Discover what is triggering your use of electronics.

Substitute a new routine.

Figure out a reward that will help ensure the routine (for example, pride, alternative fun activities like regular "cell phone free" lunch dates with your friend, extra time lounging in bed).

Eventually you'll have a habit that governs your use of electronics effortlessly. And then you can use your mental energy (and the time you are saving from not getting lost online) to build your next good habit.

[Sandy]

Excellent post. I know one thing for sure, the internet can be a huge time waster especially if I don't limit my time. It's easy to get sucked into looking at gorgeous decorating blogs, facebook etc. I've developed a routine where I limit my time with electronic devices and only check my e-mails at certain times of day and limit my time online. I noticed if I'm on the internet too late in the evening, it takes awhile for me to wind down. It's almost like the electronics wire-up my brain like coffee does. Having noticed the effects of this helps me to build better internet, electronic habits. Heck, it's difficult to go out to dinner with anyone anymore, it's like everyone is wired up. I recently went out to eat with a friend and said, "I really want to be present and thoroughly enjoy our lunch together, I'm turning off my phone, would you mind turning off yours?" We both did and had a fabulous lunch. It seems our culture is moving away from truly connecting and we are moving more towards social media and building more likes on our facebook page. I think it we can be balanced with the internet it can be a wonderful tool to help stay truly connected but balance is key.

[Dr. Meyer]

Excellent point! We all love the familiarity of our habits because at least we know what to expect. This can make bad habits seem much friendlier than they actually are. Thanks for your comment.

[Marilyn Jacobs]

Dear ED:
I enjoyed today's post.
I want to add that sometimes people do not want to give up bad habits because it makes them feel safe!
A paradox but I think a reality.
Thanks for making me think about cues - your example of the smart phone is especially relevant.
Marilyn